Horrifying Gun Jokes
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because it’s always too soon.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they are too busy reloading.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because whenever they try, they always get interrupted by gunfire.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
They’re too busy thinking and praying.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they go in one ear and out the other.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they always hit too close to home.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they ARE the joke about mass shootings.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because the rest of the world doesn't get them.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because it's too easy... like shooting fish in a barrel, except its kids in a school.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they’ve all been shot to death.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because someone always dies laughing!
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because after the thousandth time, the jokes got pretty old.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because everyone gets it.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they don’t live long enough.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because making jokes would give away their hiding spots.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because we have been having a 'Moment of Silence" since sometime in 1987.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they always misfire.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because humor kills people, not guns.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings?
Because they can't handle comedy.
Why did the mass shooter cross the road?
To get a better shot.
Why did the mass shooter cross the road?
Why did the mass shooter cross the road?
Why did the snowflake stop going to class?
He was triggered.
Why do so many American kids die in school shootings?
Because they're not allowed to run in the halls!
I hear the schools now have gone back to teaching the three "R's": Readin', writin', and rapid reaction to enemy gunfire!
What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.
It leaves in body bags.
What the last thing that went through a Sandy Hook kid's head?
A bullet!
Before you know it, those Sandy Hook survivors be surviving their graduation ceremony shootings!
These kinds of jokes tend to be aimed at younger audiences.
Some of them go right over their heads and some of them go in one ear and out the other.
Other countries don't laugh about mass shootings- they don't get them.
What do you call a 7th grader with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
(That joke is now older than the victims.)
Why did the US win a gold medal in shooting at the last Olympics?
Because they only practice on the best schools.
You know what the best part about summer vacation is?
3 months of no school shootings.
Americans tell the best school shooting jokes- we've got so many to choose from.
Y'all laugh now, but when we finally breed a generation of bullet proof children, 'Murica will laugh last!
At work, we have a betting pool on how many mass shootings there will be today.
If you commit a mass shooting, you're not allowed to bet that day though. That would be cheating.
A mass shooting is when 4 or more people are shot by a single gunman but the NRA is trying to get that changed to be the "recommended daily allowance".
Americans must enjoy mass shootings otherwise they would have done something about them after the Bowling Green Massacre or Toledo.
Republicans are immune to bullets, but only the really devout ones.
When was the last time you took your self administered 2nd amendment test?
Or are you afraid you aren't Republican enough to handle it?
Or are you afraid you aren't Republican enough to handle it?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
Hey baby, are you a school?
YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!
Hey baby, are you a school?
Uhg. No, why?
Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Triggered!
Did you strap your rifle to the Wal-Mart rascal scooter?
But other than that, how was the Garlic Festival (movie, club, food, service, etc?
Hook:
I wish it was just the insensitivity of the humor that was blowing your mind.
If you do 1 sin or a 1000 your still going to hell. So do a million and go down there a frickin legend.
Satan-2018
If you're gonna dance with the devil might as well lead.
"If comedy is tragedy+time, I need more fucking time. But I'd really settle for less fucking tragedy"
"If comedy is tragedy+time, I need more fucking time. But I'd really settle for less fucking tragedy"
-Jon Stewart
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