Goodbye to my daughter.
It's been over 2.5 years since you left and nearly 2 years since we last communicated. I have struggled all this time with the complexities of this issue. I no longer want to know where you or how you doing, have asked others to stop telling me what they know, and have asked others to stop urging me to be "the adult" and attempt reconcile. You are an adult too and it's unfair that I bear this burden alone. I can no longer "parent" you or be the "bigger person". I too am only human after all and clearly I have gravely failed somewhere along the way. I am sorry for that. I had no parents. I was abandoned as a child and it's probably the strongest experience that I most wanted that you would never know for yourself. Somehow you knew this and this is where you chose to strike at me. I should have known better to let you in. It's not safe. Whenever you make yourself vulnerable, you will get stabbed in the heart- even from you own child, who kno