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A Collection Of Trump Jokes

President Trump is sleeping one night when the ghost of George Washington appears at the foot of his bed.
Trump asks him, 'Georgie, my boy, how can I be a better president?' George says, 'First, never tell a lie.'
Trump doesn't like this answer and yells for security. George disappears and Trump goes back to sleep. 

He is woken up a short time later by the ghost of Franklin Roosevelt sitting at the foot of his bed. "Frankie,
my boy, what can I do to be a better president?' FDR thinks a moment and says, 'You have to put the people
first.' Once again Trump doesn't like this answer, yells for security, and FDR disappears. 

Trump is once again awakened by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln at the foot of his bed. "Abe, my boy, how
can I be a better president?' Abe thinks for a moment and responds, 'Go to the theater more.'

There is a new Bond film coming out that stars Donald Trump.  It's called “The Spy Who Loved Pee”.



“I cannot tell a l…

Amusing News Headlines

"The Latest Hero Exposing Trump's Corruption Has a Name, and She Is Not F*cking Around"
https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a29445236/marie-yovanovitch-ukraine-ambassador-testify-congress-trump/


"Fart Problems Lead World Pie-Eating Championship to Switch Pie Fillings"
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/yw7kdv/fart-problems-lead-world-pie-eating-championship-to-switch-pie-fillings

Horrifying Gun Jokes

Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because it’s always too soon.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because they are too busy reloading.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because whenever they try, they always get interrupted by gunfire.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? They’re too busy thinking and praying.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because they go in one ear and out the other.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because they always hit too close to home.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because they ARE the joke about mass shootings.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because the rest of the world doesn't get them.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because it's too easy... like shooting fish in a barrel, except its kids in a school.
Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shooti…