I'm Still Being Held By Jade Helm

I'm still being held by Jade Helm. They took my guns, made me gay-marry my cousin, vote for Hillary, and convert to Islam. Protect yourself before it's too late! Instructions here:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2015/7/19/1403682/-DIY-Project-Jade-Helm-15-Protective-Tinfoil-Hat

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